small fool

sometimes it's about time to fly. we all have wings. just not all of us know how to straight them.
never thought my wings can fly with the wind.
was afraid of using them leaving my safe place.
but it's different now and I'm growing up, turning into a person I always wanted to be.
in about a year my wings will take me far away. that's the plan. but time will show.

I feel like last few months were under control of a gremlin who enjoyed watching me falling apart over and over again. and trust me there's nothing cool in having your soul broken apart every day. you can take it once, maybe twice. but not more. cause it's killing you on the inside.

I was not only afraid to face myself but to face my pain. Now I know that I was an emotional wreck and how to deal with that.

Maybe becoming a grown-up is about going through harsh days on our own, learning our lessons with a teacher and dealing with pain (here should underline that first pain is leaving but the one that hurts the most is mostly caused by us reminding, thinking and saying horrible things when looking into mirror) .

6 weeks and 3 days. nothing will change. one year older. maybe one year wiser.
one year closer to becoming a true grown-up.
we'll see.


Raise the Dead - Rachel Rabin

everything is changin', happenin' so fast.

takin' a lot on my head, running around doing more than should

but I am happy. even without him