last hours as 20year-old. feels weird and normal at the same time.
the best part will be 6.31 hour rate muahahah ;)


Can you imagine your death?
Will it be natural or maybe a murder or an accident?

I can't fall asleep and have many weird thoughts in my head like a projection of stupidity.

All I know is I wanna die happy. Proud of what I've done and how I lived and just happy that my dreams came true or at least I did everything to make them as close of coming true as possible.

we all are dying. with every breath, every second.
we're born to die.


I'm in a party mood, wanna dance and do crazy stuff but my working hours are not allowing me to :(
next 3 days full opening/closing shifts. Good for wallet, bad for my mood.
Luckily, next week will be crazy muahahah

thought of the night - *if you were born as a jerk, you're gonna die as one*

Serena will be posting here her thoughts.
Hope you'll like her as much as I do.

by Serena

Sometimes you're lost and you feel alone
Sometimes you're lost but you've got a place to go
And sometimes you can't get lost 'cause you're trapped in the golden cage.
You can't run,
You can't scream,
You can't do anything because apparently, you are the one who locked the cage doors and throw the key away.

My cage is different.
There's no lock. No key. Just me.
I can leave whenever I want. Can be free.
The trouble is - I don't want to. I'm in a warm place where people are nice.
Everything should be going well.
It's not because cage is comfier than the outside world.

The scare wasn't given in DNA. It was taight by close people and by the tough real life.
It was like a samll life lesson
And I decided to take the easiest way.
I'll leave my cage, just as you'll leave yours.
The only difference is I can do it anytime, you have to ask for being setted free.

Enough for now...



had a good day. over 12hrs of sleep, great mood, bought few cool baking accesories, yup- cookie monster's back in town ;)

today's music....... *drums please*


Sometimes we have to die to be free.
Sometimes we have to give up and walk away.
We have to let go to get what we want.
Freedom is not a word.
It's a state of mind.
                of body.
                                     It's not a previledge.
  It's a gift.......                                      



Prague was what I needed.
Great people, amazing memories.
It was good to be away from my problems and focus on having fun.
Solved few things and now can move on.
It's good to forget abt people's expectations and being myself.

11 days left till my bday. Gonna turn 21. Time to remember that it's more important what I want & who I wanna be. it's my life, none gonna live it for me.


not gonna

I'm sorry.
I'm not gonna ask for a second chance,
I'm not gonna crawl and beg.
I'm not gonna pretend.
I'm not gonna change.

The cover is the same
The inside is new, fresh.

No gonna lie,
Not gonna cry,
Not gonna miss,
Or love or die.

Our time is ending,
Desire is dead.
There's nothing more or even less.

Not gonna be happy
If I will stay,
That's why I'm going.
Forget me, okay? .........




I did it! I handed in my storytelling folder, presentation went well, finished my Prague script and now can chill. Well not as I planned cause of some family stuff here. Great grandma is not well, mum asked her to wait for her but we don't know how it's gonna be. All family gathered today to say goodbye and we couldnt be there. It's hard to lose someone without a chance to say goodby, thank you for being with us....

Going to Prague on Sunday, the same day Nana no.2 is coming for a week and I wont see her. It's all weird and I just dont know what to think.....