according to the fact that both, me and Serena got too many things going on now and we're kinda lost we won't be posting for a while.


written by Serena

Loving him was hard. It was full of pain and tears. Carol said that one day I'll forget and will be able to fall in love again.
She was wrong.
He was the love of my life.
And even if it was hard and he hurt me many times, he was part of me. It was difficult but also beautiful.
He made me feel powerful, full of energy and I was ready to go across the world for him.
Loving him was my goal.
Now he's gone.
And I would be able to love another man as much as I loved him if I would have got a heart.
But he took mine so I won't love anybody else the way I loved him.

Now I know what Carol meant by saying that even the most beautiful love can be destructive and take away everything you've got and even more...


I'm lost..........

Sometimes I feel like it's the only place where I am safe...
I'm lost and I don't know what to do. There's so many emotions in me. Too many...
Can't stop crying and thinking. I'm over-thinking.
I'm just constantly sad and dunno how to stop faking smiles and have a real one. I forgot how to be happy.

Don't know what to do. Should I run, scream, cry or what?
It's like there\s a hole in me, in my soul.
Good news, I've got a soul. See, even been sarcastic is not working......

My old laptop's disc memory has been cleaned. From few thousands of photos they got back less than a hundred. Unfortunately, half of them should never be seen, bad memories or the memories I wanted to erase.

Why my past have to come back to me, haunt me like a Baskervilles dog to make my sadness even worse......
I just don't get it. Is God playing with me or is it my mind?

I feel like I won't be able to be happy again...............