fall asleep. it's over

Few days ago I found out you can be over your friend. It's weird how you can be through with somebody who was very important and big part of your life. But maybe that's what I do. I invite people to my life too fast. I'm so gullible.. 21 and still naive. And I keep thinking why does it hurt so much? Maybe because I let people to hurt me ? Maybe because this kind of pain contains memories and feelings we had to these people?
We all make mistakes but what if some of us make them intentionally? what if some people know what they're doing?
believe me, I tried. I did a lot to save our friendship. But we all know, no matter what kind of "ship" (relationship, friendship etc) it is, if you wanna save it, both sides have to work and try.
It's hard when you feel that you're in it on your own. when you KNOW that it all depends on YOU.
Last week I felt used, unserviceable, unappreciated. do you remember how Woody felt when Andy was playing only with Buzz Lightyear? Well, Andy at least came back to Woody (after all they were best friends).
the funniest thing? People were trying to convince me to end this sick relation long time ago and I was so stubborn. No, she's my friend. blah blah blah. but was I a friend to her? Because I'm not sure anymore....  
Just like you can't fix a broken heart, you can't fix our friendship. But maybe in the future she'll understand her mistakes and say sorry not because she should but because she'll really regret what she did. And maybe I'll forgive her and give a one last chance....


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